Today I have
been tested with tolerance and thought that I should blog on that but it is too
fresh in my mind to put down on paper so I decided on reflecting on a saying
from my father.
“If You Want
Something Done Right You Have Got To Do It Yourself!”
I remember him saying this to me as a child
for a reason that I cannot recollect. I have it locked in my mind. He was wearing
his work clothes and just walked in the door. He wasn’t angry about anything;
he just said it to me. I remember thinking “Ok, I’m 8 and what if I needed
something done that I couldn’t physically do?!?!”
Years later
I was sitting on my porch stewing over the day’s events that ended in cussing
my boyfriend because he didn’t do something correctly, something that I asked
him to do. Completing task incorrectly was a regular occurrence that tempted me
to cuss him; however, it only happened twice in our nine year relationship.
See, I am not a fighter; I refuse to argue with someone!!! I find that arguing
is the biggest waste of time in the world!! It gets me nowhere, and my opponent usually
ends of leaving with their feelings hurt and their mind blown as to how such a
little girl can create such a loud voice. The only true people who can
competitively argue with me are my sisters. When this happens it is like pit
bulls that end up locking their jaws down on each other’s throats until one finally
dies….We have an unspoken pact that for the safety of all three sisters we will not verbally argue with each other.
ANYWAY, I am
rambling!!! Back to the cussin, and the meaning of the blog…..I was sitting on
the porch stewing when it hit me “If You Want Something Done Right You Have Got To
Do It Yourself!” I never should have asked him to do a task if I expected it to
be done my standards; I should have just done it myself. If I would have done
it myself it would have been done “right”, If I would have done it myself I
would have not been sitting on the porch with chest pains from anxiety, if I
would have done it myself I would not have lost my temper and cussed that man
like a sailor!!
From then on
I did things myself. I have found years later that doing things on my own has
rewarded me in many ways, and prepared me for my fated future. I expect nothing
from others, and in return when others do things for me it is more appreciated.
I do not expect people to help me, why should they? I am mentally and
physically capable of doing almost anything, and in doing it myself I get a
sense of accomplishment and pride. However, the generosity of people who help
me when not expected bring out a happiness in me rather that an anger that I
would have if help was expected and not received or not done to my standards (I
hope that make sense, it does in my head anyway).
Seeing how
God has so much confidence in me and has blessed me with being a single mother
I have applied that saying to raising my children as well. Being a single mom is a lot of pressure!!!
Everything they do is a reflection of my parenting…unless they end up in jail
and that is all from their fathers..lol. Don’t think that I won’t use the
inherited gene excuse if I have too!! However, under the circumstances I am
using my father’s saying to make sure that my parenting job is done right…so I
am happily doing it myself. I expect nothing from H2’s father only to be
more appreciative when he does do something toward them….After 8 months of no
child support I received 25 bucks!!! I WAS THRILLED!!!! Should I expect child
support? Yes, do I expect it? No!! Once again I am thankful instead of hateful!!!
As I get
older I am learning the reason my father never sat down, the reason he never
watched tv, or read a book. I am also beginning to understand why he never
complained about anything…he was too busy doing it himself!!!
.JPG)
